


It Feels Right

by purgatoan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean, Bullying, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, M/M, Mute Castiel, Name-Calling, Pansexual Castiel, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:03:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatoan/pseuds/purgatoan
Summary: Dean and Cas are friends since they remember. They’ve been through a lot together, and they’re inseparable. However, it seems that Dean fell in love with his best friend. What’s going to happen next?





	

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a long time to figure out how I wanted to write this one, but I’m incredibly happy with how it turned out! With that being said, I’m not trying to romanticize being mute, I just wanted to learn a bit more about people that are mute, that’s why I decided to write this one!
> 
> And, the fic is divided into four parts: four seasons. Let me know what you think!
> 
> _Everything that’s written by Castiel and others is italised._
> 
> **Messages are bolded.**

**FALL**

It was a beautiful sunny day. Fallen leaves were coating the streets and sidewalks like colorful, uneven rugs, shocking everyone that would look at them with their beauty.

Even though the first day of school didn’t seem like the perfect day for most people, it was long awaited by others, including Dean Winchester.

Dean’s family consisted of his mom, dad, and his baby brother, Sam. The kid was always happy, no matter what, but he didn’t have any friends yet, considering that there weren’t any kids his age on the street they lived on.

That was one of the reasons that the boy couldn’t wait to go to kindergarten and was bouncing around his parents as they were preparing everything for him for the first day.

“Mommy, mommy, can we go already?” Dean kept poking his mom’s hip with his little finger, wanting Mary to turn her attention to him.

“In a minute, honey,” Mary said softly, rocking Sammy in her embrace. She was trying to put him back to sleep, but no matter what she did, he kept crying.

“You ready?” John entered the nursery, then extended his arms toward his wife as he saw his little son wailing, “Give me Sammy, I can handle it,” he added with a smile.

Mary sighed, “Are you sure? I can-”, before she had a chance to say anything, John scooped his son in his arms and interrupted her mid-sentence.

“I’m sure. I’m perfectly able of taking care of him, sweetheart. You guys should go or you’ll be late to school and we wouldn’t want that, would we Dean?”

“No, Daddy! Don’t wanna be late!” Dean grinned widely, “Let’s go, Mommy!”

Mary couldn’t help but chuckle, “Alright, alright, let’s go,” she pecked her husband on the cheek, then took Dean by his hand and they made their way downstairs and outside.

* * *

After promising Mary that he would be careful and nice to everyone (not that he had problems with it before, she just wanted to be sure she reminded him about that), Dean wriggled out of her tight embrace.

“Mommy, are you crying?” He wondered, but she shook her head no, even though her eyes were glassy.

She couldn’t help it, she simply couldn’t believe that her baby grew up so fast, “No, honey. I’m just very happy and that’s why it looks like I’m going to cry.”

Dean nodded with understanding, “Can I go now, Mom?” Excitement was clear in his voice.

“Of course, baby. Have fun,” she flashed her son a grin, then opened the door of the classroom for him. Once he got in, she turned on her feet and began walking toward the exit, hoping that Dean’s first day was going to be great.

* * *

When Dean got inside of the classroom, the first thing he did was to look around and try to find a place where he could sit. It turned out that all of the seats were already taken and the only free one was in the middle of the classroom, right next to a petite, dark-haired boy.

Dean crossed the room in a few strides and sat on the chair next to the boy, a wide grin finding its way onto Dean’s face once he saw that the boy was smiling at him.

Everyone around was already busy talking to one another, so Dean decided to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Dean. What’s your name?” He said shyly, extending his hand toward his classmate. The boy opened his mouth, but no sound came out, and blush crept up on the his cheeks.

Weird.

Dean blushed too, because he wasn’t sure if he had said something stupid or maybe the boy in front of him was simply shy. The boy give his hand a firm shake, eventually, then reached for a crayon and a piece of paper. He scribbled something on it quickly and handed it to Dean afterward.

There was only one word written on it, in quite neat handwriting, considering that it was a kid who wrote it.

_C-a-s-t-i-e-l_

_Castiel_

“Your name is Castiel?” Dean put the piece of paper back on the desk and the boy nodded, fiddling with the sleeves of his blue sweater and avoiding Dean’s gaze, “Pretty, I love it,” Dean added with confidence and Castiel looked up, then smiled widely, picking up the crayon and the piece of paper.

A few seconds later the piece of paper was slid over to Dean again.

_Thank you. Can’t speak._

“Oh,” Dean let out, “Are you sick? Because my mommy knows what to do when my throat hurts, she can help,” Dean suggested, but Castiel shook his head no and leaned closer to Dean, his hair brushing against Dean’s cheek and tickling him a bit. Castiel’s hand grasped the crayon anew and more words appeared on the paper, this time filling almost half of the small page.

_Not sick. I never speaked, mom said I was born with no speaking._

“I see. But you hear, right?” Castiel nodded slowly but surely, “Oh, that’s okay. So, we can play together if you hear everything,” Dean let out quickly, “Will you play with me later, Castiel?” He added, his voice laced with nervousness.

Castiel simply opened his notebook, smiling from ear to ear, and wrote something on the cover, then passed it to Dean.

_No one wanted to play with me before. Will play with you Dean!_

Dean couldn’t hold back a grin that threatened to find its way onto his face, his face lighting up like the sun that was warming the world outside with its rays.

* * *

**WINTER**

It was cold outside, the snow enveloped all the surfaces like a blanket, making the world look like an image from a postcard. Dean’s boots were crunching against the white fluff as he ran from Castiel. The dark-haired boy had a snowball in his hand and was aiming with it at Dean’s back.

One swift move of Castiel’s hand and snow crushed against Dean’s back, hitting the target without any problem. Cas couldn’t help but smirk as Dean turned around.

“Run Cas or you’re gonna get hit!” He exclaimed, a wide grin on his face.

Even from the distance Dean could see his friend smile, his white teeth reflecting the sunlight like crystals.

Dean gathered some of the snow from the ground in his glove-clad hands and formed a snowball. As he stood up, he saw Cas standing still; it almost seemed like he was daring Dean to try to hit him, and Dean was not the one to back out from the challenge.

As he aimed for Castiel’s back, his friend turned around suddenly, throwing a snowball in Dean’s direction. It hit him flat in the chest, making the dark-haired boy grin.

“I’m gonna catch you!” Dean took after Cas, catching up with him in a few strides. He pinned Castiel to the ground and flipped him, raising the snowball over his head.

Cas closed his eyes; he didn’t want any snow to get there, but Dean simply threw the snowball away and let go of his friend.

Dean stood up from the ground and Cas opened his eyes, his forehead scrunched in confusion.

“I’m hungry. Let’s go home, mom promised to make pancakes when we get back!” Dean said, excitement clear in his voice, and extended his hand toward Castiel to help him up as his friend nodded.

Castiel grasped Dean’s hand firmly and Dean pulled him up with absolutely no effort. Both of them shook the snow from their outfits and began walking toward Dean’s house, their cheeks rosy from the cold, their breaths forming into white puffy clouds in front of their mouths.

They got inside in no time, considering they were playing in a park opposite to their street, and Mary greeted them with squishy hug, making both of them blush.

“Mom, enough,” Dean mumbled and she let them go, rolling her eyes playfully at them before taking their beanies and jackets from them after they took them off.

“Did you have fun outside, boys?” She wondered and they nodded in sync, “Great! Now, who wants pancakes?”

“Me!” Dean exclaimed, making Castiel grin, and they both followed Mary into the kitchen, their stomachs rumbling loudly.

* * *

It had been ten years since they met and they were inseparable ever since.

Becoming best friends with Castiel was natural for Dean, almost like breathing, and it was difficult for him to remember how his life looked without Cas in it.

They sat together during almost every class, they always played with each other after school. Soon, Cas became a frequent guest in the Winchesters’ house, just like Dean started visiting Castiel at the Novak’s place, both becoming natural additions to the other one’s life.

Dean didn’t care that Castiel couldn’t verbally communicate with him, it didn’t bother him at all. They could understand each other perfectly without any words being spoken and everyone had to admit it was an unusual sight. Of course, Castiel always had a piece of paper or a notebook around him, along with a pen or pencil, just in case he wanted to explain something to Dean or ask about something in more detail, but they didn’t need it often.

Dean could tell how Castiel felt only by throwing a single glance at him and it was incredible. It was almost like their brains were linked and transporting what the one felt to the other one’s head.

The only problem was school, or rather people attending it. Most of the kids were just communicating with Castiel through Dean, and lots of them became friends with both boys, like Charlie, Jo, and Ash, but others thought it was okay to pick on Cas only because he was mute (Dean had later learned that was the reason Castiel couldn’t speak).

Many times Castiel wanted to scream or cry, because of how harsh people were, but Dean was there for him constantly; either standing up for him, comforting him, or both.

After every incident, Cas was afraid that Dean would leave him or wouldn’t want to be friends with him, because he wouldn’t be able to handle defending Cas so many times, but it turned out that Castiel couldn’t be more wrong. Dean had no intention in leaving Cas, exactly the opposite, and soon it was obvious that Dean would always be by his side, no matter what.

* * *

**SPRING**

**Cas, what’s up? You okay?** Dean typed and hit send, strumming his fingers over the edge of the desk as he waited for his friend to reply.

Castiel was acting strange at school that day and Dean knew that something was wrong, but he wasn’t sure what exactly. When Dean asked one of his friends to pass a note to Cas, it never made it back, so he had no idea what was wrong since that was their last class together that day.

At the end of the day, Castiel was supposed to be waiting for him, because they always walked home together, but he wasn’t there. And as soon as Dean got home and ate, he ran upstairs and messaged Cas.

**I’m fine, don’t worry.** The response came, but it did nothing to soothe Dean’s nerves. Something was definitely off.

**You sound like everything but fine. Come on, Cas. You can tell me.** The speed at which Dean’s fingers were hitting the letters on the keyboard made it seem like someone was banging on the keys randomly. Dean couldn’t help but think that he did something wrong to offend or hurt Castiel, he had no idea what was happening.

**No, it’s nothing. Leave it, Dean, please.** Dean couldn’t help but sigh as he saw the message.

**Okay, here’s the deal. Either you tell me, or I’m gonna get my ass over to your place and you’ll have to let me know what’s wrong. Huh?** Dean sent this one and took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. Then, he waited.

When Castiel still didn’t respond, even though more than ten minutes had passed, Dean got up, threw on a jacket and ran down the stairs.

“Mom, I’m going out to see Cas, I’ll be back soon!” He exclaimed and Mary got out of the living room, eyeing Dean suspiciously.

“Hey, hold up, honey. Is everything alright?” She couldn’t help but wonder, she never saw her son in such a rush.

“Not really. Cas was acting weird today and I have no idea why,” Dean let out, putting on his sneakers, “and he didn’t want to tell my anything over message so I have to get it out of him in person.”

“I see. Stay there as long as you want, okay? If Cas needs you, then you’ve got to be there for him,” Mary ordered and Dean shot her a weak smile.

“Thanks, mom. I’ll let you know what’s going on as soon as possible,” he got out of the house and began running toward Castiel’s home.

Castiel lived nearby so it didn’t take long for Dean to get there. The moment he raised his fist to knock on the door, the door opened revealing Castiel’s mom, her expression full of worry.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Dean. Cas is upstairs in his room. He’ll tell you what happened,” she said, her voice laced with sadness, and stepped to the side, letting Dean enter the house.

“Thank you, Mrs. Novak,” he said, then ran to the Castiel’s room, taking two stairs at a time.

When he opened the door, Castiel was sitting on the bed, his arms around his legs, rocking back and forth slowly, and that sight broke Dean. Cas was always a bubbly and happy person who could drag him out of the worst with just a smile, but this? Something was terribly wrong. They knew each other for ten years already, it took only a spare look at Cas to make Dean realize that.

He crossed the room in a few strides and plopped onto the bed, right next to where Cas was sitting, then put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said softly, feeling his friend shake like a leaf, “buddy, what happened?”

Only then, Dean took a look at the rest of the room and saw his friend’s textbooks scattered all over the floor. It seemed like there was something scribbled on every single one. Dean picked up the nearest book from the floor and brought it closer to his eyes, his mouth agape once he read what was written inside the cover.

_Weirdo._

_Freak._

_Idiot._

_You’re disgusting._

_You shouldn’t be alive._

For the first time in a long while Dean was speechless.

He threw the book on the floor, the loud thud making his friend jump and look around. Castiel’s eyes were red and puffy from crying, his face stained with tears, like blank canvas covered with random splatters of paint.

“Cas, do you know who did this?” Dean looked his best friend in the eyes and Cas shook his head no, sniffling loudly.

Dean felt like his heart was breaking, he had no idea what to do. The only thing that came to mind was comforting his friend and that’s exactly what Dean did; he pulled Castiel closer and hugged him tightly, like he wanted to shield him from all the evil in the world.

How did someone dare to hurt such a wonderful person? Dean couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

After some time, Dean felt Cas relax, and he pulled away, wiping the tears off his friend’s face with his sleeve.

“Can I help somehow? Do you want to talk?” Dean wondered and, after a moment of hesitation, Cas nodded, “Notebook or the phone?” He handed Castiel both, but his friend chose the notebook and the pen, then started to scribble down hastily. Dean wasn’t surprised; when his friend was nervous writing by hand helped him calm down a bit.

Dean’s gaze was fixed on Castiel the whole time his friend was writing, looking for any signs of distress or anxiousness. Fortunately, it seemed that Cas was able to relax around Dean and he simply kept writing, stopping once in awhile only to think about what to write next.

When he was done, he handed the notebook to Dean, his gaze low, like he was ashamed or afraid.

After patting his friend on the back, as a way to reassure him that everything was going to be fine, Dean focused on what Castiel wrote.

_People were picking on me before our class, but I’m used to it, so I was just a bit sad, that’s all. Then, I went to the bathroom after our last class together, but left my bag in the classroom, and when I got there, everything was scattered on the floor._

Dean couldn’t help but gasp as he read this sentence.

_When I started picking the textbooks up, I saw there were awful things written on them, the same things like on the one you picked up. Most of the people were laughing at me when I ran out of the classroom and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit through the whole lesson, so I came home._

_That’s why you didn’t catch me at the end of the day and I’m sorry. You were probably worried, I should’ve let you know what was going on. You’re my friend._

“Cas, there’s nothing to be sorry for. Hell, I’m glad you got out of there,” Dean smiled softly at Castiel, then got back to reading.

_I think I know why someone would do it. Except for the fact that I’m mute, people don’t seem to like another thing about me; my sexual orientation._

If Dean looked at Cas in that moment, he’d see his friend tapping his thigh with his fingers nervously, his teeth worrying chapped bottom lip.

_I think now’s the best time to admit it as ever so, here it goes: I’m pansexual. I don’t care about the gender at all, for all I know, I may fall in love with anyone. And that’s what I wrote in one of assignments for that class, though I created my character as a pan character. It seems like my classmates got a hold of it. It’s okay if you think it’s weird, fucked up, or don’t ever want to talk to me again. I’m a burden anyway, I won’t stop you._

Dean dropped the notebook on the bed, his mouth agape, “Cas, why do you think that way? Come on, I could never stop talking to you, you’re my best friend. Dammit, I don’t care who you fall in love with. It might be an alien, I don’t care. I just want you to be happy,” tears were running down his face by the time he finished talking. He never thought Cas would think so low of himself. He was Dean’s anchor, his biggest supporter; not someone who was weighing Dean down, but raising him up, higher and higher every day.

Cas didn’t say anything, just pulled Dean closer and buried his head in Dean’s neck, his soft breath tickling Dean’s skin.

“You’re fine Cas, I’m here. You were and will never be a burden. And I’m not planning on leaving you, I promise. You’re stuck with me,” Dean’s words were nearly timed with raindrops that began falling onto the window of Castiel’s room.

* * *

**SUMMER**

The sun was shining strongly, the temperature higher than the nerves of every person on the schoolyard. But, nerves were a normal thing, it was the day of graduation after all, the day where everything would change.

At least, it seemed this way for Dean.

Because, as cliche it might sound, that day Dean was going to confess he was in love with his best friend and he would either be the happiest or the saddest person in the whole world afterward.

He thought that Cas might have feelings for him, but he was never sure. It was impossible to be sure about such thing, right? Castiel had always been important for him, like a piece of the puzzle that had made his life complete after they had met for the first time, but did Castiel feel the same way? He had no idea.

The whole ceremony seemed to drag on forever; endless speeches and congratulations were making Dean’s nerves skyrocket, every second was like eternity. After all, he wanted to bare his heart to Castiel and he had no guarantee that it wouldn’t destroy what was between them already. He felt as nervous as the day he walked into the classroom for the first time, afraid that he would end up alone, with no one by his side. He couldn’t lose Castiel.

Eventually, the celebration ended and, despite all the stress, Dean felt incredibly relieved that high school was a closed chapter for him. It was a wonderful time, but the town Castiel and Dean were going to school in was quite small, meaning that people weren’t exactly tolerant of those that differed from them. Both boys received lots of impolite and rude comments from multiple schoolmates, either regarding the fact that Castiel’s disability was seen as a problem by some (Dean couldn’t understand it, even if he tried) or because of the fact that neither of them were straight (soon after Castiel came out, Dean admitted he identified as a bisexual for a long time, but simply was afraid to say it out loud.)

Those were some of the reasons that moving out of their hometown and going to college together seemed like a dream come true.

“Cas, wait!” Dean exclaimed, weaving through the crowd leaving the schoolyard. Since the ceremony had ended, everyone wanted to be home already and celebrate with their friends.

Castiel turned around, a wide smile on his face. When he saw Dean, Charlie told him they’d see each other later at the party and walked away, winking to Dean. She was the only person aware of what Dean felt for Cas.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t hide anything from Charlie.

“I have to tell you something,” Dean blurted out right off the bat, as soon as he was face to face with his friend, and Castiel couldn’t help but scrunch his forehead in confusion.

A faint smile appeared on Dean’s face as he realized what he was about to say. He hoped everything would turn out to be alright, he desperately wanted Castiel to love him back.

“Uhm, remember when I told you I’m, you know, bi?” Dean wondered and Castiel nodded, “So you must also remember I told you I have a crush on someone.”

Castiel mouthed “Yes” and his friend took a deep breath, then reached for Castiel’s hand, slowly lacing their fingers together. Dean didn’t want to overwhelm Castiel, he thought it’d be a good way of gently letting Cas know what was on his mind.

“It was you,” Dean whispered, ”It was always you. Yes, at first you were only my friend, but it changed pretty quickly, because I realized no one would ever be as wonderful as you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met and I would never want to be with anyone else, but I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just, I can’t live without you, you’re my everything. I need you,” he was short of breath once he finished, blush creeping up on his cheeks.

Now the only thing he could do was to wait for Cas’ reaction.

At first, Castiel blinked a few times. Then, confusion began to dissipate and its place started to be taken by a wide, ear-to-ear smile, which made Castiel look like he was glowing, like there was no sun outside, but that Cas was the one and only sun.

Slowly, but with confidence, Castiel’s free hand reached up to cup Dean’s cheek and it seemed like the time stopped. There was nothing but Dean and Cas, the whole world seemed to disappear as they were gazing into the other one’s eyes.

Dean allowed himself to smile as well as he saw Cas leaning forward and he couldn’t help but shed a few tears as soon as their lips collided. He never thought that moment would come, not even in his wildest dreams, and nothing could describe how great it felt.

Cas’ mouth felt soft, but demanding on his; there was certainly no doubt that Castiel felt the same way as Dean. Dean let himself go pliant, reaching with his hands to Cas’ neck, to pull him closer and closer and closer.

It was the first time Dean was sure he was desperately in love with someone. And he already knew he got addicted from the taste of Cas inside his mouth, from the heat he felt as their bodies collided, from the love that was poured into that first, but definitely not last kiss.

It was both gentle and passionate, comforting, but with a hint of danger, however, nothing felt as perfect and right as that exact moment.

And when they heard the thunder, they didn’t bother pulling apart. Not even after raindrops began soaking through their clothes, making them cling to each other like they were desperate for the other one’s touch, desperate for warmth, desperate for love.

Because they were.

And they would always be.


End file.
